I can not attract women., What is wrong with me? Options

[RATED-RKOFRANKLI...]

Hello everyone. I am Franklin. I am a 19 year old college student. I have a job on campus. I don't have many problems in my life. Overall I have to say my life is good. I have many friends. I am well respected by my family, friends, classmates, . In high school I was popular and well known. Many people I did not know, knew about me. I am funny and nice. I can easily make people laugh and have a good time. I enjoy playing video games, watching movies, shopping, hanging out with friends, bowling, basketball, football, professional wrestling, etc. My favorite food is chicken. My favorite meal is Shrimp Lo Mein with Orange Chicken on top! My favorite drink is rootbeer. I fit in with a lot of social groups, cool kids, jocks, nerds, average, etc. I am far from your well known stereotype person.

Everything sound good. Right?

I do have one major issue in my life. I can not attract women. I have never been kissed and never had a girlfriend. I am not shy. I am very outgoing as I have already made clear. I am not scare to speak to women. I talk to them everyday. I have asked out a lot of girls on dates. All of them said no. In almost every class I have taken in school(elementary, middle, high, and colledge), every girl in the class was not interested in me.

Why aren't women interested in me? Why have all of them rejected me?

Every girl who has rejected has said I have too ugly to date. Girls who I did not asked on dates also said that I am the ugliest guy there is date. I am the worst of the worst.(Don't get confused, I am saying their opinions. I am not calling myself ugly).

Sometimes when I try to meet a new girl, she gives me a negative facial expression. She makes an ugly face like "hey back off" or "is this guy really trying to talk to me?". I am not hitting on her. I am just trying to have casual conversation.

In school girls sometimes like to rate guys. Who is cute, sexy, hot, average, nerdy, or just plain ugly. I always ended up on the ugly rating from every girl.

There is some confusion.

People often say I am a good looking guy. People at church always say this. My friends and family often say this. At first I am like " hey they are just being nice". However I am often to this by random older people. At church Sunday the pastor spoke up in prayer and made a special prayer for me(he was giving out other prayers). He mention that I am a good looking guy, and a lot people were also saying this(they don't know about my problem with women). When I was younger random people always said I was a good looking kid, and they said it to me more often than every other kid in my classes.

I am not black enough?

Yes, I am black. I am not your stereotype black person. I do not like nor respect hip hop, rape, and anything that is ghetto. I am not an ass man. I do not dress like the stereotype ghetto person. I do not speak without using my Es and Rs. Is this putting women off? Are they expecting me to be someone I don't want to be?

Women want a man that can dress. Right?

I have always been I told I am a good dresser. My friends, family, church members, random people, random students, teachers, etc. Some people ask me where did I get that? They love it. They like it. I wear sports appeal, polo shirts, regular blues jeans, black jeans, etc. I do NOT wear any clothes that are made faded nor were made with holes in them. So here is my style.

http://s210.photobucket.com/albums/bb31/RA...nt=nfl_vwt2.jpg

http://s210.photobucket.com/albums/bb31/RA...=p6394632dt.jpg

http://s210.photobucket.com/albums/bb31/RA...=p6394621dt.jpg

http://s210.photobucket.com/albums/bb31/RA...edRATED-RKO.jpg

http://media.photobucket.com/image/polo%20...wan/polo/19.jpg
(I wear polo * * * * s but not this color)

So Franklin what do you look like?

Oh yes. I have to show pictures to help judge the situation. I am not trying to be arrogant. I am just trying to get help for my problem.

http://s210.photobucket.com/albums/bb31/RA...nt=FRANKLIN.jpg

http://s210.photobucket.com/albums/bb31/RA...rrent=James.jpg

http://s210.photobucket.com/albums/bb31/RA...nt=LastScan.jpg
(I was at an amusement park)

My ears are a problem.

I still hear the "ugliest piece of * * * * " comment from girls on campus. They normally say it behind my back. I know they are talking about me because they sometimes mention my ears. Sometimes girls start to laugh at me when they first look at me. I really want to say something to them, but I don't. I just continue to mind my own business. I do not need any drama in my life.

I know my ears are different. I was teased about it early in school by a few kids, but as I got older it rarely happen. Now of days it is either women or a few ghetto stereotypes who talk about my ears, but never to my face.

Other then the few people who talk about my ears, I'm very respected by the people I know. I don't have to worry about such comments being said. I just have a good and fun time with my friends.

I think the main reason why women don't want to date is because of my ears. I think it puts them off. I've met only one person with similar ears as mine's. Women may not take me serious because of them. I thought about having surgery to fix them, but at the time I wanted someone to accept me. I've stayed strong on that decision. I don't want someone to decide to love me after getting surgery because I was born this way. It would not be true love because I would only get love by changing my body. It's not like I disrespected my body by getting out of shape, and not staying clean.

What are my standards?
All of my standards have equal importance. They are not in any particular order.

1. She must be a christian. I want someone who has the same religious beliefs as I do.

2. She must be slender. I am not attracted to women who are fat. I take care of myself so I would want someone who would do the same for themselves when it comes to weight.

3. I would like a girl with big breast. I have a fetish for big breast. I would not overlook a girl with small breast, they can be cute as well. This standard is just a want, not a need. I have asked out women with small breast.

4. She must be clean. All I am asking is for a woman to take care of herself. Be nicely groomed.

5. She must dress nice. Wear respectable clean clothes.

6. We must have good commutation. I believe a good relationship needs good communication.

7. She must be outgoing. I never met a shy girl before so I don't know if I would go out with one. I like a girl to be outgoing.

[keitsukun]

Here, ill give ya some tips:

-Learn cooking skills
Women lieks men with cooking skills. o3o

-Always look confident
What girl like moppets? :o

-Get a cat
Girls like cats. Fo rel! :U

-Dont be shy to talk to other girls
That way, they'll feel confortable with you.

-Ear drop to their conversation
Learn what they like to choose the right subject when abording them.


You should be fine with these, good luck!

[RATED-RKOFRANKLI...]

Thanks for trying to help, but it makes me wonder if you read what I said. I have confidence. I am not shy. Having pets and knowing how to cook are not necessary when looking for someone. I know plenty of people who do not have a pet, who have a girlfriend or boyfriend. Cooking can be good to know, but a lot of young men my age are not good at cooking. I don't think a girl would be looking for someone who is a good cook.

[clone1018]

lol. Your not ugly. Its just that no girl you have met is right for you. If you are still girlfriend list when I am 20 I will get you a girl.

[Dyhalto]

Don't try to build Rome in a day. Lower your standards for the time being. Dating women not up to par can help build a network and let you meet people you otherwise wouldn't cross paths with. On top of that, if you exhibit desireable qualities, she'll talk about you all the time and intrigue her friends (one or two of them are bound to be hot).
A month or two later when you find out "it's not working out", hopefully you'll have some new prospects at least.
Eventually, you'll meet someone whose a keeper and meets all of your standards. Then it's time to tie the knot.

Really, it's just a matter of keeping on fishing.

For a bonus tip, build some muscle mass. Girls are genetically inclined towards "protector" type guys.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLI...]

I have been working out. I have not been working out to get girls. I have been working out to go to wrestling school in a few years.

[Materia]

There's nothing wrong with your standards, as Dyh just suggested.

You're not ugly, either.

Now. Don't take anything I say as trying to bash you or anything like that...
But I may seem blunt in explaining what I think could help you.

First. And, I apologize for being shallow.
Lose the glasses. I only say that because when I clicked those links of your pics and saw the glasses...
My initial response was "WOAH". Then I looked, and decided you weren't bad looking at all.
Large glasses can be offputting, especially at first glance.
Try contacts. Or even just smaller frames. Some frames that don't take up ALL of the area around your eyes and cheekbones.

Second.
You say you're pretty open. And, while that is an admirable trait, in the longrun it CAN hurt you.
Especially if you're pursuing, say, a girl you've known for some time.
Don't put TOO much out there of yourself. Hold back a little bit.
If a girl knows everything about you within a few months of knowing you...Where's the fun in getting to know each other?
Girls like mystery, apparently. (reading my own post, I see this last part may be confusing, so I'll attempt to reword.)
I guess I'm trying to say to not put all of yourself on the "cover" of your "book", if that makes sense.

Third. You're plenty black.
One of my good friends(also a co-worker of mine) is a 35 year old black male.
He is not ghetto. He pronounces his Rs. He even cracks on general "mainstream black society".
Black is not who you are.
If a girl wants an ignorant black person(like the type who seem to fit the general consensus of "mainstream black society") let her get one. It'll be her mistake in the end. And it should make you proud to not fit that same description.

[Dyhalto]

There's nothing wrong with your standards, as Dyh just suggested.

Hey now, I meant nothing of the sort. I mean he should expect to start in the mailroom on his way to CEO-dome.

[Materia]

Hey now, I meant nothing of the sort. I mean he should expect to start in the mailroom on his way to CEO-dome.

XD

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were saying that he was asking for too much when he listed what he likes in women.
My mistake.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLI...]

Can you dig it?

What did you just say? Please do not ever use that tone again.

[Materia]

Sorry. Thought you were the open-minded type.
And for the record. I didn't have a tone. I was just saying.
Furthermore. I wasn't calling you one.
And, I mean. You know their are ignorant black people out there.
AKA the rappers and thugs who ARE ignorant as CRAP.
But, anyway.

Just trying to help.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLI...]

Sorry. Thought you were the open-minded type.
And for the record. I didn't have a tone. I was just saying.
Furthermore. I wasn't calling you one.
And, I mean. You know their are ignorant black people out there.
AKA the rappers and thugs who ARE ignorant as CRAP.
But, anyway.

Just trying to help.

I highly agree with on that. I know you was not calling me a N*$^@#$%#$. I just don't like seeing that word used. Some people might take it the wrong way.

[Materia]

You're right. I shouldn't have posted it...
But it's a very good adjective for the people who fit it.
Hell. Got your attention, right?


Sorry if I offended. I'm editing my post, now.
You should edit where you quoted me so the masses don't get upset(just a suggestion).
:]

At any rate.
No further comments on the rest of my post to you?

[Allen Hunter]

I doubt you'll get laid with those standards.

[Obsession]

Considering I am ACTUALLY from the other end of the matter maybe I can help you.

As a personal preference, as completely horrible as it sounds, girls are fussy about what people look like. Its not an impressively major thing, nor are they asking for the 'perfect person'. Just, average or above average standards.

Never rush into it. Rushing into it is a very bad thing for you. Ease your way in, talk to someone, get to know them over a few months gradually, and build it from there. Try and find someone who shares a few of your interests, this seems to help a heapload. There are plenty out there ;P

Don't go for just anyone. There are some really creul people out there who are just gold diggers/cowbags. Try and avoid them if you can, and if you feel uncomfortable, back away. Find someone a similar age to you.

The key is time. I myself am not quite a social person in real life, as shameful as it is to say, but you also need time aswell. Its an eternal art.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLI...]

Hey now, I meant nothing of the sort. I mean he should expect to start in the mailroom on his way to CEO-dome.

I will not date any woman who does not apply to my standards. I don't care who she is. I would not date someone I am not attracted to. People should always live by their standards and never lower them.

[Despite]

Well, it seems like you got no problem talkin to girls, you're not fat or got a pizza face, you're doing good for yourself...well shit..

All I gotta say is that you might be a tad to "outgoing" ya know what I mean?

As in girls really don't like a guy that just talks and talks and talks and expects them to just fall on her knees or somethin'.


But hey man, just keep on goin the way you're goin you'll meet a chick eventually.

Or hell, maybe girls did like you but you were too busy focusing on the girls that didn't like you.


Well, I'll crack another beer in hopes that you'll find someone.


All I gotta say though is I approach women in a different way.

[Dyhalto]

Do you have no middle ground? When you look at a girl, is it strictly Yes or No?
Part of finding the right person is being able to accept a fault because a benefit far outweighs it.

It sounds like you're a victim of the standards you rigorously apply to yourself. You are not up to these girls standards, and they are rejecting you.

[Sicksinz]

Women enjoy confidence. The apparel you posted also does not bring out much of your features, it only displays what you enjoy. If you have any female friends, have them take you out for a "makeover." I've done that in the past and it worked. Also, make sure to stay out of the "friend zone." It is real. Your standards might be too high as well, as far as breasts are concerned. Generally, women who "got it" are way too cocky to notice good things, and generally lean toward the opposite of the type of guy they want. Be more open minded about breast size. Another thing, keep in mind that religion is beliefs, and though not everyone shares the same opinions or beliefs, many do share the same common interest. It is your job as a christian to educate, but also to not judge.

Another thing that will make a man more attractive to a woman is a positive outlook. Every religion acknowledges that if you say something will happen, it will happen. Even in the satanic religion, they acknowledge it...but they go the extra step to say "think about something and masturbate while thinking it and it will happen." Something about feeling good while thinking about something you ultimately desire... At any rate, you have to focus on it every day and keep up the faith that a good change or event will happen. You want a girlfriend? Tell yourself "I will have a girlfriend" every day. Stay positive, and enlighten people with good energy. If you keep a good, friendly, caring vibe, people will find themselves being attracted to you as a friend and some women will even find you attractive as more than a friend. At your age, most of the girls are still girls and don't know what they want, and more likely than not, their next boyfriend will not be with them for very long because she will want one thing that their "hot" boyfriend can't offer: unconditional love and gratitude.

Keep your head up, and keep positive. If you don't smile alot, start smiling every day, but don't force it. People can see it in your eyes if you're genuinly smiling or not.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLI...]

Do you have no middle ground? When you look at a girl, is it strictly Yes or No?
Part of finding the right person is being able to accept a fault because a benefit far outweighs it.

It sounds like you're a victim of the standards you rigorously apply to yourself. You are not up to these girls standards, and they are rejecting you.

I live by my standards, but sometimes fall short. I think everyone should try to live by theirs. Honestly I do look at a girl and say Yes or No. This is just my opinion. I am healthy and I keep myself in shape. I would not date someone who is fat because for one it is a major turn off, and it shows she does not have much respect for her own body.

Women enjoy confidence. The apparel you posted also does not bring out much of your features, it only displays what you enjoy. If you have any female friends, have them take you out for a "makeover." I've done that in the past and it worked. Also, make sure to stay out of the "friend zone." It is real. Your standards might be too high as well, as far as breasts are concerned. Generally, women who "got it" are way too cocky to notice good things, and generally lean toward the opposite of the type of guy they want. Be more open minded about breast size. Another thing, keep in mind that religion is beliefs, and though not everyone shares the same opinions or beliefs, many do share the same common interest. It is your job as a christian to educate, but also to not judge.

Another thing that will make a man more attractive to a woman is a positive outlook. Every religion acknowledges that if you say something will happen, it will happen. Even in the satanic religion, they acknowledge it...but they go the extra step to say "think about something and masturbate while thinking it and it will happen." Something about feeling good while thinking about something you ultimately desire... At any rate, you have to focus on it every day and keep up the faith that a good change or event will happen. You want a girlfriend? Tell yourself "I will have a girlfriend" every day. Stay positive, and enlighten people with good energy. If you keep a good, friendly, caring vibe, people will find themselves being attracted to you as a friend and some women will even find you attractive as more than a friend. At your age, most of the girls are still girls and don't know what they want, and more likely than not, their next boyfriend will not be with them for very long because she will want one thing that their "hot" boyfriend can't offer: unconditional love and gratitude.

Keep your head up, and keep positive. If you don't smile alot, start smiling every day, but don't force it. People can see it in your eyes if you're genuinly smiling or not.

I am positive person. I let the good shine out of me. I try to enjoy my time with others. Yes, I do often smile. I use not to smile often. My friend Jennifer told me, I have been smiling a lot lately.

As for religion, I liked what you said about educating and not judging. I go to a Baptist church. I don't have any problem dating a woman who believes in a different form of Christianity. I would date a woman who does not have a religion but is not against Christianity.

[Sicksinz]

Well there you go. Keep it up and you should someday find someone. It is not impossible.

[Allen Hunter]

Did you finally find that outgoing, nicely-dressed, big-breasted, fully-groomed & slender Christian lady who loves to communicate a lot yet?